How God Feels About Divorce and You

Devotional Scripture: Mark 10:1-12

Key Verse: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Mark 10:7-8

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I need to level with you. I argued with God about writing this post. When I turned the page and saw that the topic of Mark 10:1-12 focused on divorce, I wanted to skip it. But I made a promise to my fellow Bible studiers that I wouldn’t skip the hard parts of Scripture. When we tackle a text, we tackle all of it.

Besides, this isn’t my word—it’s Gods. I don’t need to apologize for it. I don’t need to sugar coat it. God can stand up for himself.

The Bible begins by describing God’s picture-perfect ordering of the universe. Included in that is the creation of man and woman, and the establishment of marriage. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).

This is the verse Jesus quotes when the Pharisees approach him and ask, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” They hoped to corner Jesus into saying something offensive, but Jesus simply responds by asking them a question. “What did Moses command you?” Well, they say, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away” (v. 4). In other words, Moses said sure.

Yep, you’re right; he did. But that’s only because your hearts are so hard, says Jesus (v. 5). Then the Lord goes on to quote Genesis 2:24, adding that once a husband and wife are married, they “are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together let not man separate” (Mark 10:8-9).

God Does Not Stand Behind Divorce

Marriage is God’s design. It’s God who decided Adam should spend his life married to Eve. And let me tell you, there has never been a better wedding venue than the Garden of Eden. I mean can you imagine the flowers Eve carried down the aisle? And second, I doubt there’s ever been a more radiant father of the bride. (You’re welcome for the visual.)

Adam and Eve experienced marriage as God intended—united perfectly in both God and each other. But then chapter three takes place and life unravels quicker than you can say “No, don’t do it!” when Adam and Eve choose disobedience by partaking of the forbidden tree.

A few quick swallows and their unity went down the tubes right alongside their innocence. Marital bliss melted into marital tribulation. Unity became something Adam and Eve would have to fight for with sin blackening their hearts and crouching at their door and laying between them in bed. God even warned Eve that now she would need to fight the instinct to rule over her husband.  Stinkers, what a bad decision.

Fast forward to the days of Moses when sin and divorce is so prevalent (even among God’s people) that God has Moses make a law stating that a man cannot divorce his wife and marry her again after she marries another (Deut. 24:1-4), and we have ourselves a recipe for family disaster.

Marriage works best when two people are first and foremost committed to God. But in Israel’s day their hearts were so far from God that God allowed Moses to make some concessions.

God does not stand behind divorce because divorce, no matter how you look at it, is always the result of sin. When sin no longer exists, neither will divorce. But because sin exists God has acknowledged that there will be divorce.

Marriage Represents Christ’s Love for the Church

Yet that doesn’t change God’s desire that a husband and wife stay together until death do them part. God loves marriage. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). God loves commitment and faithfulness and humility but hates pride and dishonesty and selfishness. That’s the bottom line.

Divorce separates and hurts and destroys. And God is not about any of those things. God’s purpose from the beginning has been to unite all things in Christ, “things in heaven and things on earth” (Eph. 1:10), and that includes marriages. Not to mention, the ripple effects of divorce are like catastrophic aftershocks leaving nothing but rubble for years to come. I probably don’t need to tell you that.

Of course, we could sit here and talk about clauses and parameters for which divorce might be biblically acceptable, like in situations of sexual immorality (Matt. 19:9). Or if an unbelieving spouse walks away from the marriage (1 Cor. 7:15). Or if there’s abuse. God designed many of the Old Testament laws around the protection of women because He loves His girls! But I don’t think that’s the point of this passage.

The point is, God’s intention never was and never will be divorce.

Marriage is meant to be an encouragement to us as it represents the bond of love between God and Israel, along with Christ and the church. Jesus will never divorce the church no matter how unfaithful we are.

When a couple divorces simply because they fall out of love or get tired of each other or just plain can’t get along, it grossly distorts the picture God desires for us in marriage. Namely, the unconditional love and faithfulness of Christ. God takes the marriage vow so serious He says it’s adultery when a husband and wife divorce on these grounds, and then marry another.

God Stands Behind His People

But beloved, adultery is not an unforgiveable sin. Not to mention, Jesus said whoever looks upon another person in lust has already committed adultery in their heart (Matt. 5:28). So I don’t think any of us can point fingers under that definition. Even David, a man after God’s own heart, had to seek God’s forgiveness for adultery (See 2 Sam. 12:13; Psalm 51).

I’m not excusing anything. Sin is sin and we’re all guilty of it. Divorce should never be rationalized because sin should never be rationalized. The marriage bed is to be kept pure and undefiled, says God’s Word (Heb. 13:4). A husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church and a wife is to submit to her husband, just as she does the Lord (Eph. 5:22-25).

There’s no getting around these things in Scripture. Just like there’s no getting around that God is not an advocate of divorce, and never will be. It’s just too hurtful. But do you know what God is an advocate for? You. And me. And forgiveness and peace and repentance and reconciliation and grace and mercy and bearing our crosses (perhaps even in marriage?) and second chances and drawing close and abiding in Christ and helping us with today because tomorrow’s already gone.

Yes indeed, God is a big advocate of those things.

So no matter how wonderful or heartbreaking or challenging or amazing your life or marriage has been or currently is, no matter how you feel today or what happens tomorrow, no matter what mistakes you’ve made in the past or what mistakes you’ll make in the future, the open invitation to walk this life with Jesus still stands.

No, God doesn’t like divorce, but that doesn’t mean He doesn’t like you. God may hate divorce but rest assured, He will always and forever love you.

Contemplate and Evaluate: Why do you think the Lord feels so strongly about divorce? How can God still love us, in spite of our sin?