How to Pray for Those You Love (And Don’t Love for That Matter)

While preparing for our study on Ephesians I’ve been stuck on Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 1:15-19. Don’t worry we’ll dive into the full weight of it when we actually get there, but what hit me like a ton of bricks is three-fold:

#1 Paul wasn’t moved to pray for the Ephesians because they were doing poorly; Paul was moved to pray because they were doing well. “For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers” (Ephesians 1:15-16).

Paul prayed on the offensive side of things. He didn’t wait until things got bad to pray for those he cared for.

#2 I’m sure there were ump-teen things going on within the Ephesian church walls. Things Paul may or may not have been privy too. He had obviously had an update on how they were doing, but Paul’s prayer isn’t focused on quick fixes or “comfort requests” as I so often am. Instead, Paul prayed for their continued spiritual well-being.

“Remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might.” Ephesians 1:17-19

Is that not one of the most beautiful prayers you have ever heard? Yes, yes it is. Paul prayed for what really mattered: the enlightenment of their hearts. Not that the little things don’t matter, don’t get me wrong, but if our hearts are enlightened by God, so we remember the hope of our calling and His power at work within us, I tend to think the little things will work themselves out as we trust Him for the answers. As a result, Paul asked God for spiritual results, not just physical answers.

#3 Paul prayed from a heavenly perspective, instead of an earthly one. If God can raise Christ from the dead, seating him at “his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come” (Eph. 1:20-21), then I think He can handle my problems. Though when I’m wrapped up in my issues, it’s easy to overlook that important truth.

But behind every earthly problem, is a spiritual battle. Whether it’s a battle of my own flesh to do the right thing or trust God for the right thing. Or whether it’s a battle with the spiritual forces of evil raging on God centered families and God centered marriages and God centered schools and God centered lives and prayer minded people. Either way, the things we struggle with, have spiritual roots.

Yet our tendency is to ask for earthly fixes, instead of heavenly minded answers. But what if instead of results we focused our prayers on righteousness? What if instead of comfort fixes we prayed for the development of godly character? What if we sought for what God wants, instead of what we want? Oh what God might do with some heavenly minded requests.

So here are some offensive prayer ideas for you to pray for your loved ones, the not so easily lovable ones, and even yourself, based on Scripture:

For Your Spouse

“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 15:5-6

Father, you are the God of endurance and encouragement. As my husband and I seek for both in our marriage help us to live in harmony with one another, in accordance with Christ, that together with one voice we can glorify you LORD.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

Father, fill my husband with joy and peace today, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit he will abound in hope no matter what comes his way.

“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11

Father, fill my husband with a godly knowledge and discernment, so he may know the most excellent way for our family, leading us to live holy lives. Fill my husband with the fruit of righteous that comes only through Christ, to your glory and praise.

For Your Children

“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might.” Ephesians 1:17-19

Father, give my kids a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Christ. Enlighten the eyes of their hearts, that they may know the hope of their calling, the glorious riches of belonging to you, and the immeasurable greatness of your power toward those who believe.

“And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy.” Colossians 1:9-11

Father, fill my children with the knowledge of your will, so they will walk in a manner worthy of you, fully pleasing you, bearing fruit in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of who you are. Strengthen them by your Spirit that they may do the right thing. Give them endurance and patience, all the while filling them with joy.

For Your Church

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith – that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:14-21

Father, according to the riches of your great glory strengthen my church family with the power of your Spirit, so that Christ will dwell through faith in each member, that each one may be rooted and grounded in love. Having the strength, no matter what is going on, to grasp the depths of your great love and the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge. Fill us with the fullness of who you are, according to the power at work within us, that you may be glorified in the church, generation after generation.

For Yourself

“To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12

Father, make me worthy of your calling, fulfilling every resolve for good and every work of faith by your power within me, so that the name of Jesus may be glorified in me, and me in him, according to your great grace.

“Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Colossians 4:5-6

Father, help me to walk with wisdom toward those I come in contact with today. May my speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so others see the light of Christ as I speak.

For The Unbeliever

“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day. It is written in the Prophets, ‘And they will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard and learned from the Father comes to me.” John 6:44-45

Father, no one can come to you unless you draw them. Reveal yourself to my friend. Open their eyes to the truth. Teach them as only you can do, that they might hear and learn and understand and come to faith in Jesus Christ.

For The Hard to Love

“And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you, so that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.” 1 Thessalonians 3:12-13

Father, increase my love for the ones hard to love. Help me to love them as you do so that my heart may be blameless and holy, not bitter, unified with God’s people, and ready for the coming of my Savior.

For Government Leaders

“If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

Father, I pray the leadership of this country will humble themselves before you and seek you in all things. Give them the courage to turn from evil and do what is good and upright.

“The king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns it wherever he will.” Proverbs 21:1

Father, turn the heart of our president towards you and your will. Guide him in truth. Give him the courage and understanding to do what is right.

For the Gospel

“At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison – that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak.” Colossians 4:3-4

“To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints, and also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel.” Ephesians 6:18b-19

Father, open a door for your word to go forth. May believers everywhere declare the gospel clear and bold, speaking as we ought to. Give us the words to say. Help us to keep alert for opportunities and to not be timid in taking them. May your people everywhere persevere, no matter the cost, that the gospel, the power of God for all who believe, will go forth in strength and purpose and victory.

Pray friends. Pray with purpose. Pray with power. Pray with hope. In Christ, with Christ, and through Christ, Amen.

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